An initiative by a local women’s shelter is making men the voice of ending gender-based violence.
Rowan House Emergency Shelter hosted Leading Change, a training session led by the Alberta Council of Women’s Shelters in town from May 24 – 26. Eight men from the region attended the three-day session to learn how to be instruments of change in their communities.
Tuval Nafshi, community developer for the Alberta Council of Women’s Shelters, was one of the program facilitators. He said it’s important to recognize every day leaders.
“Leadership is not about the principal, the CEO, the executive director, the student council president or the team captain,” said Nafshi. “It’s something in all of us – it’s a quality, it’s a characteristic, it’s a behaviour. And, all of us can show leadership around this issue of gender-based violence.”
For the most part, issues of violence have been left up to experts to deal with, he said, and those experts have primarily been women. In order to make a significant shift in the prevalence of violence, all people need to stand up against it, regardless of gender, said Nafshi.
“It’s about leading from where you stand,” he said. “You might only have a small circle of influence – maybe it’s just your sibling – but you can have an impact where you stand.”
He said the Leading Change training program is about instilling a sense of leadership in men to take into the community. It’s being taken province-wide to bring more voices to the discussion of gender-based violence, he said.
He said Rowan House has shown great initiative in the region, hosting a number of outreach seminars and working with schools to promote anti-bullying and anti-violence messaging. Having the female leaders of the emergency shelter out in the community can only go so far, he said.
“Historically it’s mostly been women who have been doing that education,” said Nafshi. “Even if they’re talking to groups of men and women or girls and boys, there’s more understanding that in order for some boys to connect with the message, having male facilitators improves the outcomes of that.”
Some boys will open up more to a conversation with a male facilitator, which he said is important in gaining understanding about what is happening in the lives of young boys that potentially leads to choosing violence.
With a number of men trained in the Leading Change program, Rowan House will now have the opportunity to bring in male voices when they address children in schools, said Nafshi.
“We’re helping give them a foundation and a framework for how to do that work in the community and bring that conversation here locally,” said Nafshi. “Ideally, the community is building its own capacity to do this on a sustainable level.”
Okotoks resident and counsellor Mark Gilchrist said he chose to take the three-day training session because it’s important to have men set good examples for the next generation.
“Being male myself and having grown up with four brothers, and having boys, I think male role models are really missing,” said Gilchrist. “I think that’s part of the reason why we have the problems we do, so this is a really good idea.”
He brings a dual perspective to the conversation. Gilchrist has worked both with women who were victims of violence and male perpetrators of violence at different points in his career.
Coming to the table from both sides, he was driven to become part of the solution to ending gender-based violence.
“I think being able to look at both aspects, it really helped me to see the issue and hope there can be more prevention done in having these conversations,” said Gilchrist.
Vulcan resident Robin Reeve was also at the Leading Change training. He learned about the session through his wife’s work with the Vulcan Family and Community Support Services, where she runs the youth centre.
When Rowan House visited Vulcan FCSS looking for male leaders, his wife and other members of the board thought he’d be a good fit. Reeve said it didn’t take too much prodding to get him to agree, because he knows the issue is an important one.
It’s important to bring more male role models to young boys, to provide reinforcement of positive actions, he said. It’s something currently lacking in society where many children are receiving their social education from video games, he said.
“Ultimately, when there are bullying and abuse situations it’s learned behaviour, and that can be quite as easily unlearned,” said Reeve. “If we get them when they’re young, before it becomes habitual, I think we can make a positive change.”
